Courtney B. Vance Reveals the Secret to His Nearly 30-Year Marriage with Angela Bassett (Exclusive)

Courtney B. Vance is sharing the secret to his nearly 30-year marriage to Angela Bassett.

The actor spoke to PEOPLE exclusively while attending the world premiere of his new movie, Lilo & Stitch, at the El Capitan Theatre in Los Angeles on Saturday, May 17. During the conversation, Vance revealed that he always takes his wife’s wants and preferences into account.

“It’s really about when my wife is happy, the land is happy,” Vance, 65, says. “So I just try to [go], ‘Does this work for you, baby?’ It doesn’t work … we’re not doing that.”

“And I think it’s the mutual respect,” he adds, while also emphasizing the importance of each person in the partnership communicating their authentic thoughts and feelings about any potential big decisions.

“You gotta talk about [it] and figure out which way … [you] want to go.”

Vance and Bassett, 66, initially met as graduate students at Yale’s drama school in the early ’80s — but they didn’t link up romantically until years later when they bumped into each other in New York City.

“I didn’t run into Courtney again until 1994,” Bassett told Oprah Winfrey during a 2007 interview. “I was out with some friends and he was too. It was like, ‘Hey! Great to see you.’ “

According to Bassett, their first kiss is what truly sealed the deal.

“I got pinpricks and chills up the back of my thighs and across my butt, up my neck and across my scalp,” she wrote in her and Vance’s 2007 book Friends: A Love Story.

The pair married in 1997 and welcomed fraternal twins, Bronwyn Golden and Slater Josiah, in 2006.

While speaking to PEOPLE at the premiere, Vance shared that Bronwyn and Slater, now 19, just finished their freshman year of college.

“They’ve finished their freshman year. They’re exploring, as they should,” he says. “But both of them are doing some film work. And my daughter may major in film with sociology. And my son’s doing a lot of different things … doing plays, doing films, doing camera work.”

“I just want them to be happy, as does my wife. If it’s in the business, [if] it’s not — just find something that makes you get up in the morning,” he adds.

As to whether Vance and Bassett’s kids think they’re “cool?” Vance says it can depend on the day.

“[We’re usually] just parents,” he explains. “But when we’re on the [red] carpet, we are very cool. So yes, we go in and out of being cool, which is cool.”